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Joke of the Day
"I'm one boob, you're the other boob and together...we're Breast friends."
Next Joke
"Why are C programmers just the worst? They're classless."
"Him: *hands me glass of clear liquid* Is this glass half full or half empty? Me: Is that water or vodka? Him: Vodka. Me: Empty."
"What do you call weed from Denmark? Dansk kush."
"I love children, especially when they cry and someone takes them away."
"My girlfriend was devastated to find out that my mates call me The Love Machine' because I'm terrible at tennis."
"My kid can build an entire city with a stick & a bale of hay in Minecraft but you ask him to load the dishwasher & suddenly he's brain dead"
"Interviewer: so your last job you worked in IT? Me: no, it says ""worked it"" I: worked what? [disco ball drops] [rips off pants] Me: ""it"""
"The man who fell into an upholstery machine is now fully recovered."
"Santa is like fathers... He only comes when the kids are asleep"