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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the cannibal? He dumped his girlfriend...*flies away*"
Next Joke
"A midget fortune-teller who escapes prison Is a small medium at large."
"Did you hear about the blind Rabbi in charge of circumcision? He got the sack!"
"New Band I recently started a new band: We have to play every song in a certain order and we all have to be symmetrical on stage. We're called OC/DC."
"Standing on a corner waving an advertisement sign is a sweet job, but probably unnerving knowing you could be replaced anytime with a stick."
"[on Mars] ASTRONAUT: An alien! MISSION CONTROL: Ok, so A: I choke slammed it MC: What? A: Another one! MC: DO NOT CH A: [choke slam noises]"
"How can you tell if someone who's just had a perm is on the phone? You get a frizzy signal!"
"So I found out today that my diarrhea is hereditary It runs in my jeans Credit to /u/jdabarber"
"When women go wrong, men go right after them."
"I don't always roll a joint... But when I do, it's my ankle."