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Joke of the Day

"People keep telling me that I have a higher chance of getting mugged in London than in New York. Well, what do they expect, I don't live in New York."

"So Clinton won 6 out of 6 coin tosses in Iowa? I guess all the money really is behind her!"

"What's better than winning gold at the Paralympics? Walking."

"What do fishermen do at a their conferences? Network."

"I think I've found the worst pornstar name to have at the moment. ISIS LOVE"

"Stop bragging about your 10,000 lakes, Minnesota. You don't hear Iowa going on and on about its 12,000 smells."

"Catch 22: Husband said if I quit Twitter he would pay for a boob job. But if I had huge jugs I would get tons of new followers. Sigh."

"I went to see my Coincidental Hygenist the other day. Turns out she was one of my friends from high school."

"What do you call a lizard that can't get a boner? A reptile dysfunction"

"[at my high school reunion] Hey guys, remember last year when we toilet papered Mrs. Krebb's house? ""Dude that was in 1991."""