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Joke of the Day

"it's gotta be as much fun for a slinky to go down an escalator as it is for a human to walk on a treadmill"

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"I'm going to start a 70's tribute band with some guys from the office. .. It's gonna be called watercooler and the gang."
"Which day do chickens hate the most? Friday."
"Why did Cain kill his brother? Because he was Abel to."
"New Year's resolution is to stop drinking. Dies of thirst."
"[job interview] ""So what are your goals for working here?"" To be home by noon..."
"- Police, open the door. - What do you want? - We just wanna talk. - How many of you are there? - Two. - Well just talk to each other."
"How can a man take an abortion pill? He just picks one up and leaves."
"What do you the balcony seats at the theater? The Wilkes Booth."
"When people's driving tweets end mid sentence, did the paramedics find their phone and hit send?"