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Joke of the Day

"What does my ex and a tampon have in common? They're both stuck up cunts."

"I have an anorexic girlfriend. She's great, but I'm starting to see less and less of her."

"Hello, pest control? Yes, I have these noisy little critters. They got into the snacks, made a mess of the place and keep calling me mom."

"How do you Circumcise a whale? Send down four skin divers."

"So I heard the Summer Olympics are gonna be in Rio De Janeiro... What's next? The Olympics in Robert De Niro? ""I'm walkin' here!"""

"What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? Well the first noticeable difference is that the watermelon tastes better."

"What do you get when you mix a car and a refrigerator? A car-brrrrr-etor I'll see myself out."

"What is the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? You can hear a hormone..."

"I heard this song by the Righteous Brothers I cant remember what its called, but it was off the chain"

"12 yr. old daughter: My friend Samantha said she thinks you're handsome. Me: Aww. That's cute. How about her mom? Has she said anything?"