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Joke of the Day

"[job interview] ""So what are your goals for working here?"" To be home by noon..."

"Every time a bell rings an angel gets its wings. It's always the same angel. It's covered in wings now and wants to die but can't"

"How do you comfort a grammar fanatic? There, they're, their..."

"Why will Michael B Jordan make a bad Human Torch? Because it's supposed to be the Fantastic Four, not the Fantastic Fo'!"

"What was the victim of the car crash wearing? A Casualty (Casual-Tee, as in Tee-Shirt) 100% Guraneed Originality You can know for sure I made it up because of how corny it is..."

"PATIENT: I broke my arm in 3 places DOCTOR: Then dont go to those places!"

"What's the difference between a cow and 9/11? Americans can't milk a cow for 12 years I'm sorry"

"Lance Armstrong revealed this Tour De France will be his last, again. Not even Brett Favre believes him anymore."

"I heard netflix is going to start putting ads in the middle of shows Netflix and shill"

"At school, I saw my principal walking around in a daze. I asked him whathappened, and he just looked at me and said, ""I've lost my faculties!"""