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Joke of the Day

"Just realized that I'm technically a vegan for the hours between dinner & breakfast. No wonder I feel so fucking superior all the time"

"I heard there's this amazing place underground... ...where you can have sex with miners."

"Saw a post stating ""taking it one day at a time,"" so I responded ""me too. That's how days work."""

"Damn girl, did it hurt? ""What, when I fell from Heaven?"" ""Yeah, cause your face is really fucked up."""

"What do Iron man and Sarah Palin have in common? They both had a little Downey inside of them."

"I attached all of my watches together to make a belt. It was a waist of time."

"Waldo books are cute until u learn he owes $100,000 in unpaid child support & is wanted for arson"

"A percussionist tells his fellow percussionists some puns His group laughs at every pun he makes. He asks a friend: Hey, are my puns a tenor what?"

"What did the mad cow say to the other cow? You don't want beef with me"

"Russian family conversation ""Papa, can I have 10 rubl?"" ""20 rubl? Why you need 30 rubl!?"""