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Joke of the Day

"A percussionist tells his fellow percussionists some puns His group laughs at every pun he makes. He asks a friend: Hey, are my puns a tenor what?"

Next Joke
 
"hey dudes who go through my Instagram and only like my hot pictures I can't wait to establish a long committed relationship with you"
"Excuse me miss, you're a cat - a man who doesn't know how to cat call"
"Wife: ""Do you want to watch Batman Forever?"" Me: ""I'll watch it for a couple of hours."" Wife: ""I hate you."""
"A pirate walks into a bar With a ships wheel on his belt. The bartender asks, ""What's the wheel for?"" The pirate replies, ""Arrr it's drivin me nuts!"""
"If someone asks you what time it is they either: want to sleep with you; or are some kind of psycho that doesn't have a cellphone."
"A man walks into a mental hospital wearing nothing but plastic wrap. The clerk says to him, ""You definitely belong here, I can clearly see your nuts!"""
"2nd month dating: A thousand lifetimes with you would not be enough. 2nd month of marriage: OMG you are the loudest cereal chewer on earth!"
"Guy on SportsCenter just said Tiger Woods is ""swinging a mean stick"", so look out, ladies. He's back."
"Wanna hear a joke about a broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless."