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Joke of the Day

"The patriots must be feeling pretty deflated right about now."

"Ford, Fiat, BMW Fix Or Repair Daily Fix It Again Tony Break My Window"

"What do a moving bus and a dead vibrator have in common? You can't get off."

"At the Olympics a man went up to a competitor who was carrying a very long pole. ""Are you a pole vaulter?"" ""No, I'm German, but how did you know my name is Walter?"""

"In hindsight, naming my family portrait studio Let Me Shoot Your Kids, was probably not the best business decision."

"You say potato, I say put out, ho. Otherwise, I'm calling the whole thing off."

"When I was having an affair with twins, people used to ask how I told them apart. Well, Sue had brown eyes and Steve had a moustache."

"Growing up my mom told me... I could be anybody I wanted to. Turns out this is called identity theft."

"Why did the old man sneak past the cupboard? He didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills."

"What's 6.9? A perfectly good 69 ruined by a period"