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Joke of the Day

"At the Olympics a man went up to a competitor who was carrying a very long pole. ""Are you a pole vaulter?"" ""No, I'm German, but how did you know my name is Walter?"""

"You can pour up to 12 bowls of salad in your sweats before they kick you out of the Olive Garden."

"What did the burglar say to the lady who caught him stealing her silver? I'm at your service ma'am."

"What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog? Hey! We really DO taste like chicken!"

"What do you call a drug dealers phone book? -An addictionary."

"Hey Reddit what's the most useful type of doctor? An On-call-ogist."

"Life is like an asshole. Sometimes you don't get what you expect out of it."

"I am the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, the beginning of every end, and the end of every place. What am I? 2.71828183"

"Two boys were arrested... Two boys were arrested -- one was drinking battery acid, and one was eating fireworks. The authorities charged one and let one off."

"What did Oliver Twist say at the slave auction? Please sir, I want some moors."