105450

Joke of the Day

"When I was having an affair with twins, people used to ask how I told them apart. Well, Sue had brown eyes and Steve had a moustache."

"""Blow me."" -Soup."

"A man was recently admitted to the emergency room because of a tendency to talk with his hands too much. He was diagnosed with gesticular cancer."

"Customer asked where I lived so I thought the most accurate response was ""the internet."""

"11/10 people don't understand statistics ."

"How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm? You look for the Fresh Prints."

"I can see Alaska from my window and I live in [Joisey!] (http://newyork.cbslocal.com/photo-galleries/2016/01/23/blizzard-2016-brings-flooding-snow-to-new-jersey/)"

"How'd you get a black eye? Walked into a door. [Later, another shiner] More doors? *nods* One does not simply walk into more doors."

"A sushi bar but it's just lots of different puppies you can pick up and pet going round on the conveyor belt."

"There's 10 kind of people in the world. Those who know binary and those who don't."