55376

Joke of the Day

"fooling around I was sucking off this bird last night when I thought, ""Wait a minute..."""

"I figure that its safe to ask. How are those New Year's resolutions going?"

"What was Beethoven's favorite fruit? BA-NA-NA-NA!"

"If the opposite of ""pro"" is ""con""... What's the opposite of progress?"

"A couple I know only eat raw meat. Their names are Sam and Ella."

"Wow, you've got a lot of hickeys Kris. Me: Busy weekend *winks *remembers wrestling that octopus at the aquarium for giving me side eye."

"Best Blonde Joke Ever [Best Blonde Joke Ever](http://www.plainjanegames.com/funstuff/bestblondejoke.htm) Oldie but a goodie."

"Steve Buscemi is the only reported case of the saying ""If you keep making that face, it's going to get stuck that way"" being true."

"I recently went to the funeral of an asshole who bullied me for most of my life..... I wanted to literally see a dick in a box."

"What phone etiquette?! You hand me your phone, you better believe I'ma hurry & scroll through as many pics as I can before you notice."