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Joke of the Day

"My sons consider ""it's bedtime"" my first offer in the negotiation process"

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"My dick is so long if I laid it on the keyboard it would stretch all the way from A to Z .... ..... .... Wait... Shit..."
"The corner of this table hurt me and made me cry, so now we're dating"
"Why don't biology and physics get on? They lack chemistry."
"Dear /r/jokes, I've said this before and I'll say it again... Gay jokes are NOT funny! Come on guys."
"Phil Spector's brother I met Phil Spector's brother Crispin the other day. He's head of quality control at Walkers."
"Let's hollow out a meatball & just live in there forever like James & the giant peach but instead of a peach it's a meatball do you get it?"
"I'm tired of being told to remove my card rapidly. Starting a new ATM for people who wanna remove their card at a more chill pace"
"Q: What do astronauts eat for dinner? A: Launch meat."
"Grammar Nazis really make me fuhrious. I'm sorry. That joke was really out of mein kampfort zone. Anne Frankly, it was just bad."