106194
Joke of the Day
"Why don't biology and physics get on? They lack chemistry."
Next Joke
"When someone yells ""Fire!"" at my house, I'll be the first to leap from the toilet and fall flat on my face because my legs fell asleep"
"I still eat around bruised parts of fruit like a scared 4-year-old."
"what does Dr Watson says to his flatmate when he's constipated? no shit, Sherlock"
"I saw a guy with the word ""Integrity"" tattooed on the back of his leg & ""Inspiration"" on the other. Man, the backs of my legs are slackers"
"How did the hipster burn his tounge? He bit into his flat bread before it was cool!"
"After 3 months of Crest White Strips, my teeth are so white they bought me a gift card to Anthropologie & wont stop talking about Mad Men."
"If I had a dollar for every time someone over 40 told me my generation sucks... Then I could afford a house in the economy they ruined."
"Mules are held donkey and half horse. So does this mean that they do everything half-assed?"
"[Halloween] Me: How adorable! I love your ghost costume! 14: *sigh* I AM NOT A GHOST! I'M SHEET-FACED."