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Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't Nigel Farage like election forecasts? He dislikes ~~poles~~ polls How do you type jokes that rely on similar sounding words? It hard :("

"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb has to truly want to change."

"I was doing manual handling training at work today. I've been picking it up really well."

"whenever my mom criticizes me i yell ""it's probably genetic"" and run out of the room as fast as i can"

"I used to be indecisive... Now I'm not so sure..."

"Harambe Memes died just like Harambe himself... When the little kids jumped in."

"If space is a vacuum... Why is the earth so dirty?"

"Did I tell you about the time I was going down on my grandmother? All I could taste was horse semen... So I thought to myself, ""this must be how she died!"""

"Perks of dating me: You will be the hot one"

"My wife gets her news from NPR. I get mine from Twitter. Guess which one of us knew about planking first? Suck it, legitimate media."