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Joke of the Day

"Pretty much the only time I WANT to hear about your ex is if she's standing behind me with a weapon, other than that I'm good."

"A recurring number walks into a bar'"

"People with gender dysphoria tend to be great businessmen. Every action they take is a trans-action."

"Dear Satan, God never healed my dyslexia so I'm looking for new religion. Please send some pamphlets. And tell Rudolph hey. Love, Me"

"I once lived opposite a slaughterhouse. The view from my bedroom was offal."

"Karma is my daughter bragging about getting to sleep late this week and forgetting to turn off her alarm."

"Latest news from the FIFA corruption scandal: Shock announcement from FIFA's Ethics Committee: ""FIFA has an Ethics Committee"""

"Where do crows go to have fun? a crowbar!"

"I hate when I'm in a restaurant bathroom, and I run out of toilet paper. Like my dinner guests are gonna be scared of HALF a mummy costume"

"Somebody stole my mood ring... I don't know how I feel about it."