198878

Joke of the Day

"Two Irishmen walk out of a bar... What, it could happen..."

"I keep trying to make funny eye puns... But my friends say they keep getting cornea and cornea."

"I remember 9 months before I was born, I went to a party with dad and left with mom."

"I seruptitously flicked a booger on a guy who was being mean to his wife. If this is what being a sniper feels like, I like it."

"Kind of a pick up line? I wrote you a song but it's only one verse... But it's only because you're my UNIVERSE ...lol..."

"If I had a dog I'd say ""I have a bone to pick with you!"" and then we'd go to PetSmart to pick a bone and we'd laugh & laugh & can dogs laugh"

"""What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?"" ""Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak."""

"A gymnast walks into a bar...(X-Post from /r/funny) He gets a two-point deduction and ruins all chances of a medal."

"I seem to have this constant stream of bugs trying to hang me. They're really quite the noose ants."

"Friends are like condoms: They protect you when things get hard."