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Joke of the Day

"I no longer see my wife and kids because of gambling. I won a shitload of money and moved to Spain."

"Why is the Canadian school system broken because they only give out ehs"

"two fish in a tank. one says to the other... **how do you drive this thing?**"

"Do your part as a parent by helping prevent teen pregnancy. Let your child play the tuba. Tuba players never get laid."

"I chose a cell phone carrier for my mom based on high percentages of dropped calls."

"What's the capital of Greece? About 10"

"What's the difference between a repost and a bullet? I don't want to put a repost in my mouth"

"Why don't Jews go to Jupiter? Because it's a gas planet"

"""You're not the pizza guy."" Bin Laden's last words."

"My childhood left me with unreal expectations about how often I would see pies used as weapons."