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Joke of the Day

"I saw a kidnapping this afternoon.. so i woke i'm up. Hahaha"

"I think if a little girl wants to grow up and be a Tyrannosaurus Rex that's totally fine, and science shouldn't stop her."

"What did the Buddhist say to the Hot-Dog vendor? Make me one with everything."

"So I was dating a girl who had a lazy eye It would have worked out, but it turns out she was seeing someone on the side"

"I see your sister's sick burn and raise you mine. ""If you're gonna be a dick, wear a condom over your head."" She's 9."

"[first date] Him: Why are you being so distant? Me: Why didn't you order a side of guacamole?"

"I've been on Reddit for too long I've literally been browsing Reddit since last year..."

"Doctor: Nurse how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night? Nurse: No change yet."

"Why don't boxers have sex before a fight? Because they don't like each other."

"1816: a grizzly bear ate my mom as she fetched drinking water. 1916: I'm in a muddy trench, bleeding internally. 2016: IM OFFENDED!"