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Joke of the Day

"The last time Twitter was down I realized it didn't take 6 hours to poop."

"When I make math jokes, I try to appeal to the lowest common denominator... The problem is that with you lot I usually end up dividing by zero. /mathburn!"

"Did you hear the one about premature ejaculation? Too soon, man."

"Why did the fat monster put a candle on his tummy? He was celebrating his girthday!"

"I hate Masseuses They're always talking behind my back"

"A Jewish kid asks his dad for 50 bucks. His dad says, ""40 dollars? What do you want 30 dollars for?"""

"Don't joke about 9/11. My father died that day. I clearly remember what the last words he said to me were. ''Allahu Akbar''"

"I'm about as sociable as mushrooms... I'd like to think I'm a pretty fungi."

"I am not sure, but I think I just heard my cup of coffee say, ""You are my bitch"""

"What did the Indian child say to his mother before he left for school? Mumbai!"