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Joke of the Day

"Just think of the money we could have saved with Hillary. We would have saved 24% by hiring a woman."

"When someone yells ""Fire!"" at my house, I'll be the first to leap from the toilet and fall flat on my face because my legs fell asleep"

"I met a woman at happy hour... She had a tattoo on her bikini line. It was a picture of a conch shell. She said ""If you put your ear to it, you can smell the ocean""."

"Where is the best place to buy chicken broth? at the stock market"

"How many LAPD officers does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to beat the bulb for being broke, another to shoot the room for being black."

"ok open your eyes!! ""are those.. are those dead bunnies? what the fu-"" Febreze Air Effects. haha. covered it up well? ""im calling the cops"""

"What is will? A little bitch"

"The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don't have to mow it."

"So I was shopping online for antique guns..... and I got to the World War II section. I selected guns of French origin. They were all in mint condition."

"Knock knock (Palestinian version)... ...who's there? - Ya - Ya who? - Yahudi!"