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Joke of the Day
"The best pickup line I have a weapon in my pants. It's so strong it could destroy Uranus."
Next Joke
"always good to put one of those Apple stickers that comes with ur iPhone on your car so thieves know which car to break in to."
"Your restraining order says ""no"", but the 1/8"" gap between your living room curtains says ""yes""."
"My wife and I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went But then it dawned on us."
"[high school] Teacher: do u have your homework? Ryan Lochte: I was murdered last night"
"[last supper] Jesus (to Judas): so your facebook status said you were anxious? Anything u wanted to say Judas (sweating): no not really"
"What is a Jamaicans favorite country to visit? Yeahman"
"Karma is only a bitch, if you are."
"Spell icup Why the FUCK are you watching me urinate?! FUCK YOU!!!!!"
"Don't ever try taking off a penguin's little tuxedo. All that's under there is a dead penguin."