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Joke of the Day

"Your restraining order says ""no"", but the 1/8"" gap between your living room curtains says ""yes""."

"I've invented a solar-powered still! It turns sunshine into moonshine. Credit: Quirk."

"Why did the pharaoh retire? Because he did not want to be part of a pyramid scheme"

"I watched Al Jazera and was very disappointed. Not nearly enough music from the 1920s."

"I accidentally caught my nuts in a barbed wire fence and now I'm the frontman of a Maroon 5 cover band."

"How do you make cultured milk? You take it to the Moo-seum. I know this joke is terrible, but I totally came up with it on my own, but I'm sure it exists already."

"Do scooby got a booty? Scooby doo."

"Whoever said ""The best things in life are free"" obviously knew a very unsuccessful coke dealer."

"Arnold Swarzeneggar pushup contest. Arnold Swarzeneggar challenged former President George W. Bush to a pushup contest, and the President accepted. Swarzeneggar did 910, But Bush did 911."

"On a stakeout. Getting bored. Wish these perps would do something. Oh crap. Got my dong stuck in my cd player."