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Joke of the Day

"always good to put one of those Apple stickers that comes with ur iPhone on your car so thieves know which car to break in to."

"Don't forget to get married because a non-existent supreme being wants you to go against your primal nature."

"Every year I work my ass off to get the kids what they want for Christmas but then That fat bearded bastard gets all the credit. Mind you, It's my fault I married her."

"What do you call it when someone starts telling a joke"

"Iggy Azalea may not be the best singer... but she certainly is the fanciest"

"As a bootleg vet, I get asked to turn cats into dogs it's a ruff job."

"What is green and smells like paint?!? Green paint."

"I ran over my wife yesterday I was devastated, but she was crushed"

"[Enter your password] Secret [Password must be 6 characters] Secrete [Password disgusting but accepted]"

"""I know, right?!!"" Is the WRONG thing to say when my neighbor tells me that his wife is wild in bed. Lesson learned."