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Joke of the Day

"Don't ever try taking off a penguin's little tuxedo. All that's under there is a dead penguin."

"99 times out of ten, I'm making shit up."

"I was thinking of buying the black iPad mini.. Apparently, it runs faster."

"What's a pirate's favorite firework? M80"

"How many girlfriends does it take to change a light bulb? It has to change for itself."

"What did the HS principal say when he accidentally got a math substitute to fill in for a chemistry teacher? Whoops, wrong sub."

"Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother."

"I also like my coffee like I like my women ...ground up and in the freezer"

"If Hitler were a black supremacist English teacher what would the Holocaust be called? White-out."

"Which Disney character is Trump's favorite? WALL-E"