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Joke of the Day

"Dr: I need a urine and stool sample. Me: *hands him my underwear* Dr:...... Me: Its all there."

"""Doc, my boyfriend & I don't wanna get pregnant. He hates condoms & I think the jelly isn't working."" ""What kind are you using?"" ""Grape"""

"I just found out my mum didn't know how to set the clock on their new microwave. So they stayed up until midnight & then plugged it in"

"Is it true that you can get an STD from public toilets? Only if you sit down before the last guy has gotten up."

"If you are brave, clever and skillful, go home. You're drunk!"

"Old lady asked me to check her balance I was at an ATM and this old lady asked me to help check her balance, so I pushed her over"

"Why is Europe like a frying pan? Because Greece is at the bottom."

"Exposed Ashley Madison users feel hurt & betrayed, unsure if they can ever trust again."

"The year is 2543. Beyblades are a form of currency. Everyone speaks in emoji. President Woof outlaws all cats. Madonna releases a new single"

"The overspray from my windshield washer fluid just totaled a smart car."