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Joke of the Day

"Is it true that you can get an STD from public toilets? Only if you sit down before the last guy has gotten up."

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"A Latvian joke. J: Kapec vistas skerso celu? A: Lai noklutu uz otru pusi!"
"How busy can you actually be if you just took the time to change your online status to say so."
"Son, you're kind of like rapunzel. But instead of letting your hair down you let everyone in your life down."
"What do you do to a scientist after he dies? You Barium."
"I'm smart. Just not remembers how to write a cursive Z, smart."
"ME, HOLDING A MIC TO MY DOG'S MOUTH: who's a good boy DOG: your mom ME: please take this seriously"
"If you're ever interested in having a near death experience just tell a girl she's not hot enough to be that crazy."
"PSA: IF YOU RECEIVE AN EMAIL SAYING, ""You've won two free tickets to a Justin Bieber concert!"" DO NOT OPEN IT. It contains two tickets to a Justin Bieber concert."
"What do you do if you see your stepmother hobbling around in the backyard? Reload."
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