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Joke of the Day

"WIFE: Stop spending all our money ME: Okay, fine [later] WIFE: *visibly angry* WTF? ME: *zooming by on a new Segway* RELAX KAREN, I STOLE IT"

"What kind of bone will a dog never eat? A trombone! From Fargo Ep. 2"

"[using Ouija Board] ""Will i ever find true love--"" ""NEW GHOST WHO DIS"""

"The difference between being naughty and being kinky Is whether you by your gear at an adult shop or home depot"

"PLEASE PEOPLE: Don't forget to ""like"" before you copy & paste. Thank you."

"Rape fantasy Guy: ""Wanna do a rape fantasy?"" Woman: ""No!"" Guy: ""That's the spirit"""

"What do broccoli and anal sex have in common? If you didn't like it as a kid, you probably don't like it as an adult."

"I think my neighbor is stalking me... as I saw her googling my name on her computer last night.I saw it through my telescope."

"What's black and white . . . What's black and white and loves kids? Michael Jackson"

"Hate when I eat the last bite and didn't notice it was the last bite so I couldn't mentally prepare myself and get any closure."