135806

Joke of the Day

"I picked my nose in traffic today. Secretly hoping a tweeter who had run out of joke material saw me. You've gotta give to get, people."

"What is the difference between a peeping tom and a pick pocket? A pickpocket snatches watches"

"A man is buying an apple, a banana, and two eggs. The female cashier says: ""You must be single."" The man answers: ""Wow, how did you know?"" Cashier: ""Because you're ugly."""

"Why doesn't germaphobes masterbate ? Because they don't like all the germs that come with it."

"They say if you like it then you should put a ring on it... ...man, I must really love shower curtains."

"So won't Surreal Slim Shady please stand up, please stand dOwN, please RIDE A TRICYCLE THROUGH A DENTISTS WAITING ROOM DRESSED AS A PENGUIN"

"Why do women have smaller feet than men? - It allows them to stand closer to the sink."

"The ultimate masochist The submissive: Hit me!!! The masochist: No..."

"Air & Sex - Joke Q: Why is air a lot like sex? A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any."

"Probably the hardest part about being a dj is when you get into a fight and you gotta hold your headphones up to your ear with one shoulder."