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Joke of the Day

"A Jewish boy asks his dad for 50 dollars... His dad says, ""40 dollars?! What do you need 30 dollars for?!!"""

"Fuck. Was just recorded by the google earth car. Just to be clear, I was jerking off NEAR pigeons, not TO them."

"Man walks into a bar... ...with a piece of tarmac under his arm, says to the barman 'give us a pint and one for the road...'"

"Do you know why Santa Claus doesn't have any kids? Because he only gets to come once a year and thats down a chimney."

"Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician? He had to work it out with a pencil."

"Why don't communists ever learn? Because there are no classes."

"I've fallen into a sar chasm. Totally didn't break my legs! It's a regular party down here!"

"Isn't it fun how many different shapes pasta can be? My wife left me last night."

"Boss: Project's way behind. Suggestions? I'm willing to try anything. Me: *raises hand* Him: Anything but ""helper monkeys"" Me: *lowers hand*"

"Subway...I don't know whats worse.. What Jared did or you raising your Februany $5 footlong to 6$."