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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about Divorced Barbie? It comes with all of Ken's stuff. stolen from /u/LazzzyButtons"

"How does an ugly guy get the girl? All he needs is game"

"People who don't understand sarcasm are awesome."

"Somehow, I must have switched shopping carts while I was at the store. I don't remember buying any of this stuff. Or having an Asian baby."

"I like to have a glass of water around to make sure there aren't any dinosaurs approaching."

"whats white with red stripes and crawls slowly over the floor? Freshly whipped masochist!"

"Have you ever tried eating a clock? I heard it might be time consuming."

"The bottom of my shoes fell off today You could say they're ginger snapped. I think it was cause I ran into the beat boys and then got lost in their rock and roll"

"I like my woman just like my cucumbers Pickled"

"A teenager goes in for his regular physical Doctor: Do you drink alcohol? Teen: No Doctor: Do you smoke or do drugs? Teen: No. I'm also not sexually active. Doctor: Well no shit"