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Joke of the Day

"The bottom of my shoes fell off today You could say they're ginger snapped. I think it was cause I ran into the beat boys and then got lost in their rock and roll"

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"Mentally fistfighting everyone I pass on sidewalk (watched action movie earlier) my record is 33-10 but to be fair I walked by a school."
"How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it. How do you catch a tame rabbit? The tame way."
"PESSIMIST: Dark tunnel. OPTIMIST: Light at the end of the tunnel. REALIST: A train. TRAIN OPERATOR: 3 idiots standing on the tracks."
"Her:How long before I am able to have a normal sex life again doctor?"" Dr.:No one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out."
"July 4th celebrates the original Brexit. Thanks George"
"My psychiatrist said I have a narcissistic personality I don't know what that means, but must be pretty good if I've got it."
"It's so awkward getting a boner during a prostate exam. Especially when they realize you're not a doctor."
"Q: Why does NASA hire peroxide blondes? A: They're doing research on black holes."
"Any size pizza is a personal pizza... if you eat it all by yourself"