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Joke of the Day

"People who don't understand sarcasm are awesome."

"There are two varieties of hoe. One is a gardening tool. The other is a hardening tool."

"I am currently upset at my mom for having me. I didnt ask to be here. Now I have all these damn bills."

"An old lady at the gym told me her dad married her mom because she could catch chickens.... Pretty sure she had a pretty firm grip on something else too...."

"Robert De Niro was worried he was having symptoms of Schizophrenia. He went to his doctor and said... ""I heard things."""

"What kind of girl does a hamburger like? Any girl named Patty!"

"What's gray and all around? Everything. I'm a dog."

"A man once told me that he had never went to the bathroom in his entire life. I told him he was full of shit."

"a well educated penis is one that rises so the lady can sit down"

"Amsterdam is a lot like the Tour de France. It's just a lot of people on drugs riding bikes."