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Joke of the Day

"What did the bean say to the other bean? How have you been?"

Next Joke
 
"What does D.N.A. stand for? National Dyslexic Association."
"Me: Why is gay marriage such an issue now-a-days? Friend: Because people are FUCKING ASSHOLES! This can be taken in two ways and both are correct."
"Have you heard the one about the sick chemist? If you can't helium and you can't curium, you'll probably have to barium."
"I wrote ""Clarence sale"" instead of ""clearance sale"" and now there are angry old ladies here looking for a husband."
"Do I turn left, when nothing is right? Or do I turn right, when there's nothing left?"
"I lost my virginity to a retarded girl last night... I wanted my first time to be special."
"What do you call a shed full of black people? Antique farm equipment"
"Grammar Nazi. ""Sir, we are mining too many useless cores"" [Hitler rubs chin] ""So, mine less. [Grammar Nazi bursts through the door] ""MINE FEWER!"" [Hitler looks up] ""Yes, soldier?"""
"What's the opposite of Christopher Walken? Christopher Reeve."