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Joke of the Day

"Grammar Nazi. ""Sir, we are mining too many useless cores"" [Hitler rubs chin] ""So, mine less. [Grammar Nazi bursts through the door] ""MINE FEWER!"" [Hitler looks up] ""Yes, soldier?"""

"All Women want is a Guy that makes them laugh- And from what I can tell, Rich guys are fucking hilarious"

"Why was Henry the Eighth so fat? Because he Tudor house."

"Before Chris Brown did a concert with them, they were just known as ""The Peas"". And now they are The ......... Peas"

"I knew someone who poured milk before the cereal..... He was a cereal killer"

"How do you spot a egocentric vocalist? They warm up singing, 'Mi, mi, mi.... Mi!'"

"I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was sat next to a crying baby. Apparently that's not allowed if it's yours."

"What do you call a digital video recorder that cuts down trees and builds dams? A bvr"

"One Scot came back from work earlier then usual and saw plumber's car in the front of the house. - Oh my God I hope it is her lover."

"I saw on the news Boy George's bearded dragon has attacked and bitten his housekeeper 6 times in the last month I reckon he needs a calmer chameleon."