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Joke of the Day

"When the doctor told me that he had fitted a thermostat instead of a pacemaker, I was livid. It made my blood boil."

"HR has a problem with me giving the vending machine guy a lap dance. In my defense, he was packing Dark Chocolate Twix."

"Okay amateur photographers, the 1,000,000,000,000th close-up photo of a flower has been taken.It's safe to move on to other objects now."

"This is not funny. I thought you said your joke was funny. It's not my joke."

"What's worse than a moron? A lessoff."

"[does his regular grocery shopping] Cashier: having a kid's birthday party? Me: ...................yes."

"It's about time I talked to the boy about the birds and the bees. If memory serves, it's the stork that delivers and the swallow receives?"

"If you don't know a lot of creatures in Greek Mythology... I'll give you a mini-tour"

"My doctor told me to stop masturbating When I asked him why he said, ""So I can examine you."""

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Cyclops Barbie ...one eye right in the middle of her forehead; Cyclops Ken sold separately"