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Joke of the Day
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. It's called lunch."
Next Joke
"How do you make a dog drink? Just throw it in the blender."
"Try this at the bars, guaranteed 18% success rate: You: Do you have a permit to carry that? Her: Carry what? You: DAT ASS! Then issue a citation with your phone # on it."
"Owls always look like they've just found out that they've been cheated on."
"My wife is such a terrible cook... We say grace after we're done eating."
"American beer is like having sex in a canoe It's fucking close to water (Heard from Monty Python)"
"Thanks for always acting surprised by breakfast in bed like you slept right through the great pots and pans avalanche of 6:45 AM."
"Two office workers are chatting by the water cooler ""I has a nice quiet dinner with the wife last night"" one says. ""Oh yeah?"" The other responds. ""Yeah, except for the celery."""
"A woman asks her friend, ""Is your husband circumcised?"" Her friend replies, ""No, he's a complete dick."""
"Why do tigers eat raw meat? Because they don't know how to cook!"