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Joke of the Day

"How do you make a dog drink? Just throw it in the blender."

"yeah i got a gym membership. its called life. watch me lift this big ass rock. now im gonna do 20 reps of pretending im a beautiful bird"

"Why is Daredevil not a part of the Avengers? Because he doesn't work with Vision"

"Turtles do nothing and are slow as hell, yet they live for like 200 years. I'll probably live forever."

"Another Sunday at Gym Church w/ Pastor Pumpz. We sang ""My Bod is an Awesome Bod"", ""Bod is Great Bod is Good"", and ""Be Thou My Protein"""

"Where do electricians get supplies? The Ohm Depot."

"No offense, but I'd only circle half the globe to be with you."

"When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask ""who's in charge of tossing the salads here?"" Then I frown & order the soup."

"Shouldn't the Air and Space museum be empty?"

"Ever since I ate that Dominos artisan style pizza I can't stop painting my bathroom."