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Joke of the Day

"A woman asks her friend, ""Is your husband circumcised?"" Her friend replies, ""No, he's a complete dick."""

"If Bernie Sanders is elected president, I want to spend a weekend at the White House and film it. I'll call it ""Weekend at Bernie's"""

"What's the hardest part of running over a baby? My dick."

"""I've got 99 problems."" - Walt Disney after only being able to give two Dalmatian puppies away"

"10 times out of 9, you'll find me exaggerating about something."

"There are 170 billion galaxies in the observable universe yet this woman claims this hummus is ""everything"""

"The only spanish I know is from the song Feliz Navidad, so these last few days have been my time to shine."

"Have you heard of the nuttiest band in rock n roll? The almond brothers... I'll go now"

"It's really easy to be picky on Tinder... Sometimes I swipe left just because I have dirt on my screen."

"Now I don't know if this is racist but a black guy walks into a bar.... The barman goes 'wow where'd you get that?' To which the parrot goes 'Africa'"