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Joke of the Day

"concerned about people posting false lunches. lying about the food they ate on here. fraud meals. please start putting the receipts up"

"Why are we making such a big deal about the wheels on the bus going round and round? They're wheels."

"What's black and looks good on a lawyer? An unconvicted felon."

"It says right on the redbull can: do not mix with alcohol. What do we do? We make jager bombs. We are not a species made to last."

"What is Bear Grylls' favorite snack brand? Nature's Valley"

"seven swans to rule them all, six geese to find them, five gold rings to bring them all, and in the pear tree bind them"

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil."

"You can't know a person well until you live with them. You can't know them really well until you divorce them."

"I was really moved by The Great Gatsby. Specifically, to the theater showing Iron Man 3."

"My little brother dropped this on me; What do Mexicans say when they're cold? BRRRRRRRRiba!"