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Joke of the Day

"Doing squats. And by that I mean I'm in the squat position. But really the couch is holding me up. I'm sitting on the couch."

Next Joke
 
"Anyone hear what Russia is eating for Christmas? Turkey... Too soon?"
"I like to refer to Star Trek: Deep Space Nine as... ...""Keeping up with the Cardassians"" -&y"
"How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? Depends how hard you throw them."
"""I'm not a fan."" -air conditioner"
"Just saw a girl in cutoff jean shorts so unbelievable short that you could see private parts sticking out the bottom of mine."
"What do you call a drug dealer in a strip club A hardened criminal"
"[sees a baby spit up after drinking from baby bottle] ""lmao yo who invited the lightweight"""
"Closing a browser window when someone walks by my computer is the most Pavlovian thing that I do."
"Sobering fact: Humans share over 99% of our DNA with clowns"