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Joke of the Day

"How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? Depends how hard you throw them."

"What's the difference between LIGHT and HARD? You can sleep with a light on."

"I would never let my kids watch the orchestra, too much sax and violins."

"Why'd it take Little Red Riding Hood so long to figure out it wasnt her grandma? I can tell after like 2 questions if its a wolf or my nana"

"Q: What did the carpenters call their brass quartet? A: The Tuba Four"

"A Hydrogen atom walks into a bar... ...and asks for a shot. Bartender, ""what's the occasion?"" Atom, ""I think I lost an electron."" Bartender, ""you sure?"" Atom, ""I'm positive."""

"It's never your successful friends posting inspirational quotes on Facebook."

"If your partner makes you sleep closest to the door, you are either the protector or bait for the zombies."

"You know how they say ""Good guys finish last""? Maybe thats why my mistress has never had an orgasm..."

"Did you hear the news about the CEO of Ford? He was seen with an escort..."