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Joke of the Day

"Just saw a girl in cutoff jean shorts so unbelievable short that you could see private parts sticking out the bottom of mine."

"Whats the difference between a truckload of babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can t unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork."

"Cops in movies keeping guard outside hospital rooms have a 0% success rate."

"Why don't SJW's like guns? They can't handle the trigger!"

"What illness are you suffering from if you keep seeing cartoon animals who talk? Disney spells."

"Dog: I like pizza. Me: You've never had pizza. Dog: It's food. Me: So? Dog: So I like it. Me: I'm not giving you my pizza."

"I know it's fiction but the logic in The Walking Dead is so skewed it is impossible to suspend disbelief. An Asian guy named Glenn? Please"

"What do you call a 2D fairy? Pixie-lated"

"Shirts that say SWAG and YOLO for sale at Walmart. Because dressing like an idiot should be affordable."

"[trying to do standup] u kno whats funy [someone yells 'society!'] nno [entire audience starts laughig] wait [audience laughs louder] stop"