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Joke of the Day

"Gas is so cheap right now, I just buy a new car when I run out."

"How can you tell if a 14 year old smokes weed? Just wait. They'll tell you."

"What do you get when you mix the Twelve Days of Christmas with Ninety-nine Bottles of beer on the wall? A year in prison if there's any justice."

"I'm starting a fight club... First rule is tell everyone you know because I have no members yet"

"Linkin Park My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday...she said she couldn't stand my Linkin Park references anymore, but I guess in the end...it doesn't even matter."

"I told my dad about the school shooting today I don't know why he got so worked up over picture day."

"When I was a child, my dad tried to force-feed me. After a while, my mum said, ""Just use a fucking spoon, Mike. You're not a Jedi."""

"What do you call a rude German? A Deutsch bag"

"I lost my virginity last week But it's fine. Turns out it was just between the couch cushions."

"Why did the rockstar turkey get kicked out of the concert? Because he tryptophan."