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Joke of the Day

"When I was a child, my dad tried to force-feed me. After a while, my mum said, ""Just use a fucking spoon, Mike. You're not a Jedi."""

Next Joke
 
"A redneck goes to a family reunion and says ""Honey, I'm home!"""
"Human confrontation has gone from face-to-face to phone call to email to text to :/."
"Why was the bottle laying down? someone flipped it."
"Dams. The only thing that holds back liquid better... Is the idea of using a port-a-potty. ""Look, I know my pants are brownening and getting wet, but I'll just wait forever -- I CANNOT go in there."""
"Finally getting around to shaving my legs, blow drying them kept taking to long."
"A cowboy was shopping for a wiener dog some told him to get a long little doggy."
"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question. Feminists can't change anything."
"Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes."
"Me: I'm feeling frisky yet stabby. Do you want to come over? Him:... Me: Good answer"