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Joke of the Day

"I am not that kind of woman...I""m much worse."

"I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from, then it dawned on me"

"What's the difference between a pizza and a pizza joke? Pizza jokes can't be topped! :D"

"I've started seeing someone about my porn addiction. Her name's Brandy."

"I leant my Ferrari to my friend Carlos and never got it back."

"The Muffin Joke Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One turned to the other and said ""Hey, it's pretty hot in here, isn't it?"" The other turned and shouted ""Oh my god a talking muffin!"""

"The fact touche and douche don't rhyme bothers me."

"Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home."

"Sorry if my tweets aren't good enough for you, person who retweets Cher"

"What did Ghost A say to Ghost B? Nothing because ghosts don't exist. Edit:Holy crap I just realized I didn't post this on /r/antijokes."