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Joke of the Day

"I went to the doctors with hearing problems... He said ""Can you describe the symptoms?"" So I replied ""Homers fat, and Marge has blue hair"""

"Jimmy was eating ice cream but dropped it as he crossed the street. Why? He was hit by a bus."

"Did you hear about the man with the five penises? His Condoms fit like a glove."

"Jokes about being drunk on Twitter are redundant. Maintaining a Twitter account automatically implies that you're drinking on some level."

"Teacher -What does COINCIDENCE' mean? Student Funny, I was just going to ask you that."

"It took my wife six hours to push out our first child. The fat bastard can live elsewhere now."

"Why should you never have sex in an Olive Garden? Because when you're there, you're family."

"Hubby took the kids downstairs and is letting me sleep in! I'm so excit..never mind, I hear crying already. I think it's my husband."

"What does a 9 volt battery, and a pretty girls bumhole have in common? People tell you not to, but you're still going to put your tongue on it."

"I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist."