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Joke of the Day

"What does a 9 volt battery, and a pretty girls bumhole have in common? People tell you not to, but you're still going to put your tongue on it."

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"[PHONE] ""TSA, How can I help you?"" Me: ""Why did you guys put my frog on the No-Fly List?!"" Agent: ""Umm..."" Me: ""DAMMIT, HE'S STARVING!"""
"Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted."
"What we've learned from this skittles incident is that we should all stop eating refugees."
"What does a parliamentarian say when they're done masturbating? ""Beating adjourned."""
"Did you hear about the guy who was obsessed with building HOV lanes through mountains? Classic case of carpool tunnel syndrome"
"Lassie runs up to Farmer Fred *Bark!* What is it Lassie? *Bark! Bark bark!* What's that girl? Timmy fell down a well! *Bark! Bark bark woof!* Right! I'll say you were here with me the whole time."
"Everyone is entitled to my opinion."
"When a black guy gets shot, what are his communities favourite snacks? Dindu Muffins"
"Interesting fact about Fight Club Your text post (optional)"