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Joke of the Day

"What did Dr Dre cook for Thanksgiving? Beats."

"What's black and white and red all over? Mimes in a chainsaw fight."

"""I was going to watch a German football team play today, but I couldn't leave the house because I don't know where I left the key."" ""Bayern?"" ""No, I checked the mantelpiece."""

"Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right... But three rights make a left"

"Henry VIII would be glad to know that in a post-Game Of Thrones world he actually seems pretty chill"

"Sometimes you have to make a stand. Not there though. You're blocking the TV."

"My British girlfriend was complaining about her period again I told her to stop being such a bloody cunt."

"My New Years resolution is 1080p."

"What does an Italian sound like walking through the rain? Dago wop wop wop"

"I got an email from my ex, telling me that she has AIDS. I didn't know how to comfort her, so I just wrote back ""I know."""