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Joke of the Day

"some girls give each other the emptiest compliments I've ever heard ""aww babe ur just omg like I can't"" wtf did you just say??"

"Nick: Can you tell me the way to Bath? Rick: I use soap and water personally."

"A friend and I are walking down the street When we see a dog laying in the yard , licking his balls. My friend says ""I wish I could do that!"". I told him "" I bet that dog would bite you!"""

"My girlfriend hates when I make jokes about her weight... She needs to lighten up."

"How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're efficient, and don't have much of a sense of humour."

"Q: ""What has an IQ of 42?"" A: ""40 Marines plus their lieutenant"""

"To celebrate Independence Day I'm finding Englishmen and then walking angrily away from them!"

"Why do people ask ""What were you thinking?"" Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not have to explain."

"Christmas Jokes (I know it's a bit late) Why is Santa so jolly? Because he knows where all the naught girls live! What's the difference between snowmen and snow women? Snow balls"

"What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A quarterback."